Am I Better Off Without You?
by perfectly-unperfected
Summary: Carlos sees something he wishes he didn't see, and wonders if he's better off without James. WARNING! It's M for a reason! JARLOS, might be some KOGAN?
1. Pain

Pain. A knife slicing through the blue blood-pumping strings in your wrists isn't half as much pain as seeing your best friend, the love of your life, on top of someone else. On top of a _girl_; were you too manly for him, you think? Were you not special enough, did you deserve this? Your jaw can't drop any further than it already has; you start feeling sore in the back of your mouth, but you can't seem to close it. The same mouth he was passionately digging his tongue through the night before, is causing you more pain than it ever did lust. You want to look away, go into your bedroom, and take a nap, pretend it never happened, and wake up to him, your Jamie, lying beside you, his chest heaving as he breathes in and out. You want to put your head on his chest, and hear the heart that beats only for you, _you_, and not this other _bitch_! But you can't seem to look away from the site, your boyfriend pumping himself in and out of _Jennifer_1, who seemed to be unattached from her other two minions long enough for a quick fuck. She sees you in the doorway, and smirks, knowing it's one thing to reject you, but another to cause this unfaithfulness between you and James only a few months later. He hasn't noticed your presence yet, and it's been _minutessecondshours_ since you walked in on this atrocity. You feel yourself starting to flashback to the moment you entered his and Kendall's bedroom to see him getting off on this _bitch_. You stop yourself in time, and take your helmet off your head. It's the only thing you have on you, so you'll have to live without it, at least until you come back to pick it up later. It wasn't something you would enjoy doing, it was something you had to do, to get this cheater to notice your presence. You wind back, and hurl the head protection at James, who slows down his thrusts, and turns to acknowledge your presence in the room. When he sees your tear-stained face on your short, but slightly built frame, your caramel, soft, innocent face painted with tears, and your eyes refilling, and then dumping droplets every second. You make sure you give him a good, hard look, before running out of the bedroom. You hear Jennifer shout, "Hey! Get back here and fuck me!" as you hear footsteps pounding the ground behind you.

"Carlos! Baby, please, I didn't mean to! I can explain, I swear!" he screeches, you hear breaking in his voice. You stop for a second, and turn around. The bastard didn't bother putting any clothes on, or even trying to cover up, when he knew Mama Knight or Katie could come in at any second.

"J-j-just leave m-me alon-ne!" You stutter, your voice a shaking earthquake. "I'm s-sorry I wasn't-t enough f-for you! L-logie w-was r-right! Y-you are a-a b-bad b-boy f-friend!" You barely say, stepping backwards, before turning and aiming to run up the stairs. Your sense of direction is even more confused than usual, as you miss one of the top steps, and tumble down the stairs, landing at James' feet. You look up, slightly fuzzy for a second, until you once again see the naked teen standing above you.

"Carlos! Are you okay?" he said, shocked, reaching a hand down to help pull you up. You ignore the gesture, and scream,

"I'd be better if it wasn't for you!" as you try to run up the stairs again, only this time, running headfirst into the side of the stairs. Without your helmet, you hit the same spot as before on your already-bruised head, and start to stagger backwards. You fall, slipping on the kitchen tile, and the side of your head crashing into the counter, before bouncing back onto the ground.

"Carlos!" you hear your disloyal boyfriend scream, and then everything goes black.

**Okay, should I make this a two-shot or a chapter story? I have a lot of plot twisting ideas, but if my writing here is terrible, please tell me so I don't make a fool out of myself trying to turn this into a long story!**

1 Blonde Jennifer, in case you were wondering.


	2. Tears

"_Carlos!" you hear your disloyal boyfriend scream, and then everything goes black._

The state of consciousness you were in, had you hearing what everyone else was saying, but for some reason, you weren't in the right state of mind to contribute to the conversations. You feel like God placed you in an outer realm, where your only job was to lay and listen.

"James David Diamond, what the _fuck_ did you do to Carlos?" Kendall screams as he stomps in, nearly slamming the door in Logan's face. When they notice you lying on the cot, motionless, they both freeze.

"Is he… is he dead?" Logan blatantly asks. You struggle to awake yourself from this nightmare, and scream, _Yes, I'm alive you blithering idiot!,_ to the dumbstruck genius. However, your body doesn't seem to be cooperating with your heart and mind, thus not doing what you want it to do.

James, in a shaky, broken voice, says, "He's in a c-coma. He c-caught me with Jennifer." His voice wasn't nearly as shattered as yours was the night of the incident, but it wasn't completely together either. The sound of a fist connecting with a face is heard, and then you hear Logan say, "Kendall, get off of him!"

"Logie, he cheated on Carlos with fucking Jennifer! The fucking whore! What the fuck were you thinking? I told you if you ever, _ever_ hurt him, physically or mentally, I'd rip every last strand of your precious hair out!" You could hear Kendall struggling out of Logans grip, but man, was Logan strong when he needed to be. At this point, you slowly fade out into what seems like a deep sleep once again.

**James POV**

I feel like shit for this. Why did I have to be curious about what sex with a girl would be like after only doing a guy for months? And why, in that moment of frustration, was Jennifer interested in seducing me? I scratch my head, and think of ways to make this better once he wakes up… _If_ he wakes up. No, no thinking like that. He's going to wake up, be perfectly alive, accept your apology, and then you two can have sweet makeup sex.

I scoot my chair closer to the bed Carlos was laying on, Logan having dragged Kendall out of the room. I didn't really mind him pummeling my face… I deserved it. I deserved all of it. I reached out my hand, and held my precious boyfriend's hand.

"Carlos…" I whispered. I didn't know if he could hear me or not, I mean, he was in a fucking coma, I've never experienced one so I didn't know what goes on. However, I continued speaking to the unresponsive boy. "It's been a few days… as you can see, I haven't left…" I took a mirror out of my pocket, and frowned. My hair was scattered, and sticking up in all different directions. My complexion had begun to turn pale from the lack of sunlight, and I smelt worse than dog's breath. Of course, there was a giant black bruise on my face from where Kendall hit me, right below my left cheekbone. I didn't regret him hitting me, though. "Please wake up… I'm so sorry Carlos. If I could take it back, I would, because I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I've been friends and more with you for 10 years, and I don't want it all to go to waste because of one stupid mistake…" my voice started to unattractively crack, as I pulled his hand to my face and cried on it. I heard the door opening behind me, and an awkward pause before, "Ah… okay, I'll come back later," from a surprisingly calm Gustavo. It didn't stop me from my breakdown, though. As I soaked the Latino's sheets and arm with my tears, I felt a soft pat on my back. I turned around and saw Kelly, with sympathetic eyes that read, _I know you made a jerky mistake, but I also know that you regret it_. She turned and walked out of the room, slowly closing the door.

"Carlos! Please _bebé_, wake up for me, please!" I almost yelled, using the Spanish name I know he loves so much. I felt a little movement from him, as he seemed to be shaking the sleep off of him. I heard a groan as those beautiful eyes opened, and a worn out teenager seemed to take in his surroundings.

**Carlos POV**

I wake up to the word _bebé_, my favorite nickname. I almost feel like I'm dreaming again, so I squirm a little bit in place to try and stop myself from feeling so… well, uncomfortable. I open my eyes, and look around the room. I turn my head to see a hysterical James, who looks… well, like shit, and is that a bruise? I reach my hand out, and pat the side of his face before remembering the details from before I blacked out. I aggressively pull my hand back, and hiss. He seems scared by this, and immediately stops crying, and scoots his chair back a few steps. At this point, Kendall and Logan walk in, and seeing me awake, they simultaneously shout, "Carlos!"

"Where's my helmet?" Are the first three words I say to my best friends after being asleep for days. They both laugh, and come over, before their faces turn serious again. I turn to face James again, before making a disgusted face at the superstar sitting too close for comfort to me.

"James, please get out." His face turns to displeasure and sadness once again, before abiding by my command, standing up, and leaving the room. Logan and Kendall begin to fill me in on what happened while I was out, and I started to enjoy myself, and forget about Jennifer and James for a while. I don't know if I'll forgive James. I'll decide that when I get to leave this hospital.

**Thanks xX love me now and forever xX** **and loveLOVElove for the amazing reviews. Obviously it's going to be a longer story, and I promise to make the chapters longer. Also, this is the end of me using 2****nd**** person POV with you as Carlos, because I might post some random Kogan fluff here and there when I get a writer's block, so in the midst of drama, if I post Kogan non-drama-y drabble/smut, don't be surprised! I never write on the weekends, so don't expect an update until late Monday/early Tuesday. Lots of love, until next time!**


	3. Confrontation

_I don't know if I'll forgive James. I'll decide that when I get to leave this hospital._

With help from Kendall and Logan, I finally get to get out of this death-smelling place. I haven't seen James since I told him to leave exactly 24 hours before. According to Kendall, he's getting some "much-needed sleep", but if I had just been sitting for 7 days straight at a hospital, waiting for someone who didn't love me anymore to wake up, I'd be crying rather than sleeping. Which makes me think, I do feel bad for kicking James out yesterday, I mean, he hasn't slept in a week for me, but it's not like he didn't deserve it. What on Earth would possess him to hurt me like that, to cheat on me, especially with a Jennifer! The emotionless robots that have been expressing their displeasure towards me since the first day we moved here!

However, I'm a Garcia, and we believe in second chances. You can't hold a grudge forever, and if everyone else can forgive me when I do wrong, I should be able to forgive James for hurting me. Just like how everyone forgave me when I drowned the swirly slide in 3 bottles of chocolate syrup. A smile grows on my face, when I think of that memory.

Kendall and Logan seem to finally acknowledge my presence in the car when I randomly, and creepily, start smiling. Since I wasn't helping contribute to their conversation, it seemed like I had just had a mood swing for absolutely no reason. Logan nervously turned around in the passenger's seat, and asked how I was feeling, and what was on my mind.

"Great, Logie! I feel like I just took a really nice nap, and now I feel so refreshed and clear-minded!" I wasn't exactly lying; I just wasn't answering half of the question. Logan laughed at this, and replied,

"Well, you have been asleep for a while Carlos, hopefully you're not tired!"

"And maybe you can figure out what to do about James? He feels really bad Carlitos…" Kendall piped in. I was silent for a second, and thankfully, Logan answered for me.

"Coming from the guy who punched him! And he doesn't have to figure out right now, I mean, what would you do if that happened to you?"

Something seemed really off between them. Normally they're agreeing with each other, but today it seems like they can't just stop fighting. They both argued for a while, and when we got out of the BTR mobile to enter into the Palm Woods, they were far from done. I suddenly added in,

"Can you two not fight about a relationship that isn't yours? I mean, I know you're our best friends, but it seems like there's a deeper meaning to your fight than the fact that James cheated on me." I didn't wait to hear their responses and just charged up the stairs.

**James POV**

I was half focused on the video game I was playing, and half not. Sadly, that half that wasn't completely focused on the shooter overtook my game-playing skills and completely ruined my progress. I didn't even care at this point, I just wanted Carlos back.

Suddenly, the door opens and in comes Carlos. I could jump up and down with excitement, but being the person I am, I don't. He takes a seat at the opposite end of the couch, and we both awkwardly sit there for a while. Logan and Kendall come in, bickering over some bullshit, and don't even stop to acknowledge us, they just continue fighting into their room.

"Geez, they're worse than a married couple!" I try light-heartily to joke around with the small Latino on the other side of the couch. But he doesn't reply, or laugh, or anything, just stares. Seems like he's looking down into my soul, I see his eyes trying to piece together a puzzle in the back of his mind. Finally, after what seems like hours of just staring, he speaks.

"Why?" His voice is so innocent, so pure, after all of the terrible things I did to him, all I see are those big, chocolate, fun-loving eyes looking at me, making all the pain and guilt I've felt 100 times worse.

"I… Carlos, I don't know. It's like old, player James crawled back inside of me, it was my weakest moment. And of course, Jennifer had to be there, and… I know, I tried fighting off her advances, but she used the paparazzi against me and other crap, I just felt trapped. It's making me miserable." I knew I was making no sense whatsoever, but I think Carlos understood enough of it… I hope. I just want him back, I want him to forgive me, I never wanted it to end like this.

"You didn't look so miserable when you were on top of her." Carlos chokes out, as the waterworks start flying down his beautiful face. Before I had a chance to speak, he starts getting upset again. "Was I not good enough for you? Am I bad at sex, did I love you wrong? Did I say something bad, did I change your mind about liking boys too? Did I gain weight; am I not perfect enough for your image? Tell me James, how did I hurt you and make you want to hurt m-me?"

I couldn't stand this, and I know I can't go any lower than I already have. I try to say something, but it's like I can't speak, "C-carlos…" He looks at me, as patiently as a broken boy can. "You're so perfect, and I can't believe I had you, and I'm losing you, and I love you, and I'm a douchebag and I couldn't believe I had someone so perfect when I was so undeserving…" Again, the gibber-gabber crap came out of me. Where the hell is my James Diamond charm when I need it? I don't know what I mean to say, I don't know what I want to say, or what I want, all I know is I need some time to think. I had a week, but I couldn't think about anything. I need some time. I need some time to figure out how the hell I'm going to make this right.

I get up from the couch, and grab my coat and my phone.

"Where are you going?" My ex-lover cries, making my heart shatter into even smaller pieces than it already was in. I didn't reply, I didn't even know. All I knew was I needed time, and to get away. I walk out of the building, call a cab. When the yellow car gets to the Palm Woods to pick me up, finally, once I settle into the back seat, I cry. I cry harder than I've ever cried before.

**WOAH, LOOKY HERE, LONG CHAPTER, and I'm writing on the weekend too. This chapter was completely unplanned, especially the Kogan bit. Next chapter might end up just being a Kogan-filler, so I can figure out what James thinks. Felt like making this James POV, because we already know what Carlos thinks. Anyways, I feel terrible, I accidently deleted the file I saved all my "thank you"'s on to, and I already deleted the Plus+ alert emails! So thank you to everyone who added this story/me as an alert subscription (sorry I couldn't add any personal recognition), and thank you to xX love me now and forever xX, and Sir RCCS for reviews! **


	4. Lack of Inspiration  Kogan Fluff D:

**Kogan fluffy-smut. I should have put this before the last chapter, so pretend it takes place before then, please? Won't include thank you's or anything this chapter, since it's pretty irrelevant. Maybe something plot-moving up tomorrow, I hope?**

With Carlos making a speedy recovery, and hopefully waking up soon, Logan and I decided to spend some coupley-time together. I mean, my mom and Katie are gone most of the day, and James won't leave Carlos' side. We started off the day watching some movies.

Logan runs over to the black DVD drawer in our bedroom, and excitedly sifts through the films. I laughed as I trudged behind him, waiting to see what he would pick out. Before I even get to the room, he jumps up and holds a blue case in his hand, labeled "Home Alone 2". I do my signature eyebrows, and respond with a, "Seriously?" Logan doesn't seem bothered by my dismay at the selection, and runs to put it in the DVD player.

"Logie, haven't we watched this, like, 6 times in the past 3 months?" I wasn't trying to be a negative-Nancy or anything, I was just shocked that he wanted to see the movie _again_.

"Please Kendall? I really, really like it!" Using his best puppy-dog eyes, I give in to the trap and reluctantly plop down onto the orange couch. Logan claps, and turns the movie on. He jumps into my lap, and then slides into the seat next to me. I put my arm around him, and hope to distract him early on in the movie, so I'm not stuck watching it for 2 hours.

After about 5 minutes, I lean down and kiss his tender, sensitive ears. He shudders a little from pleasure, but tries to stay focused on the movie. I lean down and start kissing my way down his neck, and nibble on his collarbone. He gives up trying to stop me, and moans in pleasure before climbing back on my lap to straddle me again. His stiff jeans make it hard for him to be comfortable, but the amount of pleasure I was giving him made it worth it. He leaned forward and passionately kissed my soft, rosy lips, a little nervously for some reason. The kiss soon deepened, and I leaned down to make little love bites on his neck. He tilts his head back and moans out in pleasure. I kiss my way back up to his lips, and slip my tongue into his willing mouth. We wrestle for dominance, and after fighting, I win, letting my tongue explore every crack and crevice of his mouth. He moves his hand inside my shirt, and rubs his hands up and down my stomach. He holds one of my nipples in between his thumb and forefinger, and pinches softly, and I moan into the kiss we were sharing.

Suddenly, I feel Logan trying to move us into a laying position. I gladly readjust so that he's lying on top of me. Giving him a little dominance, he starts to move his jean-covered hard on over mine. Lusting for the friction, I gladly return the movements, and soon enough, our bodies are moving together, cocks rubbing each other through the denim. I slide my hand under his shirt, and break the kiss long enough to take it off, as he moves mine over my head. I use this opportunity to flip us, so I was on top again. He's rebellious at first, and tries to flip us again, but as I stick my hand into his boxers, he stops fidgeting and instead moans what sounds like Kendall into my mouth. I break our kiss again, this time, to focus my energy on taking his pants off.

"Fuck clothes, we're becoming nudists," I aggrievedly say between closed teeth, as I shrug his pants down to his ankles. He starts to laugh, but the laugh turns into a long moan as I palm him through his boxers. I stick my hand inside the plaid garments and grab hold of his length.

"Wait..." he sort of moans and demands at the same time. I stop for a moment, and he scooches down to where his head is near the button of my jeans. He unzips my pants, pushes my underwear aside, and takes my penis out and puts it in his mouth.

"Logie…" I say, stifling a moan. His head starts to bob underneath me, and I begin to moan louder. He uses one hand to pump what he can't mouth of my length, and uses the other to play with my balls. It feels like he's swirling his tongue around the entrance, and he suddenly slams the rest of my dick into his mouth.

"Logan!" I scream, coming down his throat. I felt embarrassed, I've never come that quickly, but all the embarrassment disappears when he comes up and kisses me again. Somehow, my pants came completely off, but that just made what I was doing next a lot easier. I hold Logans legs around my waist, and carry him like this to our bedroom. I lay him down on the beds we pushed together, and crash down next to him. He smashes our lips together, and takes control this time. He pushes through my lips, and past my tongue and maps out my mouth. He pushes all my sensitive areas within the first second, and I couldn't have enjoyed it more. His fingers are lightly touching up and down my happy trail.

I grow impatient, and flip Logan over so his face is in a pillow. I grab lube and a condom from my dresser, and after putting a condom on, I slowly start to prepare him. I squirt a generous amount on my fingers, and slowly trace around his hole. I stick one finger in, and slowly have it circling. I add another finger, and start scissoring them in and out. Logan's going crazy underneath me, wriggling desperately, while I'm hard again, but having fun teasing him. It's fun to make him freak out. At this point he lifts his head up and looks back at me.

"Stop being such a bitch and fuck me already." I laugh at his perseverance, and take my fingers out. He groans at the lost, but I replace my fingers with my cock. I ease into him, knowing it hurts, and wait until the okay to move. He mumbles a 'yup' into the pillows, and I try taking a lucky shot. I pull all the way out, and slam back into him at an odd angle, stabbing his prostate spot-on. He screams in pleasure, and I take this as the incentive to go back and slam back in on the same spot, faster with each thrust. It not being enough for Logan, he grabs a hold of his own, and yells for me to go faster. Knowing he was close to his edge, I pull his hands away and grab his cock in my own hands. Within a few more thrusts, he comes undone beneath me, painting our sheets an odd color. I thrust a few more times, and come inside of him. I lay on top of him for a little while, before pulling out, and putting my arms around him.

"So… how was the movie?" I ask, with a sly grin on my face.

"Best time I've ever se-" he gets cut off by his phone ringing. I jump up, using any excuse to get out of cleaning up, and pick it up. It's James.

"He's waking up… come quick…"


End file.
